


I remember everything

by givemesumaurgravy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Confessions, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Civil War (Marvel), all the feels, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 04:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17842223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesumaurgravy/pseuds/givemesumaurgravy
Summary: Set in the post-movie clip in Wakanda before Bucky goes back into cryo.





	I remember everything

**Author's Note:**

> ugh this is short but I had this scene rolling around in my head all weekend so I just had to put it out there

It starts with Bucky sitting in the lab in Wakanda. He’s one arm down, but he feels more himself than he has in decades. 

Steve is here, hasn’t left his side since T’Challa evacuated them from Siberia, and the look in Steve’s eyes… that more than anything is confirming everything he’s been suspicious of since he first recognized Steve as his best friend from Brooklyn.

T’Challa’s sister, Shuri, is running tests on him still, trying to figure out the best course of action, but Bucky knows what he wants to do, what he feels like he _needs_ to do. 

After a bit longer, T’Challa offers to go and give Steve and Bucky some time alone, probably sensing that there’s a long list of things they want to talk about, alone.

“Sister, let’s give them some time to talk about their options,” T’Challa says, holding his hand out for Shuri. 

Shuri pauses, looking from her tablet to T’Challa, but something in his look must tell her she shouldn’t try to argue. Shuri nods and takes T’Challa’s hand, then follows him out of the room.

The second they’re out of the room, Bucky turns to Steve, trying to smile, but he’s sure it comes off as more of a wince. Steve smiles sadly, reaching for Bucky’s hand, but then apparently thinking the better of it, pulls back. 

“I’m not worth all of this,” Bucky says quietly, mimicking something he’d said earlier in the quinjet. 

“Don’t,” Steve says, voice authoritative. “Stop thinking like that.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a few moments, looking down at his flesh hand in his lap. He knows what he wants to ask, but he’s not sure how and he’s not sure if he’s ready for the weight of the answer and to know the truth. 

“Steve… we were more than just friends, weren’t we?” 

Steve freezes up, then snaps his gaze to Bucky, mouth parted, but not saying anything. Bucky leans forward, reaching out with his flesh hand and Steve closes his eyes and nods when Bucky touches his wrist. 

“We… we were lovers,” Steve whispers as his eyes open and focus on Bucky. 

The look on Steve’s face takes Bucky’s breath away. It’s pained and desperate, like decades of holding back a secret are finally breaking him. Bucky laces his fingers with Steve’s and then brings them to his mouth, giving his knuckles a tender kiss. 

“I remember,” Bucky says quietly. 

“You do?” Steve asks, voice pained and eyes weary.

“I do,” Bucky says. “I had… I had an idea after the helicarrier, but I didn’t… I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t in control of myself at all. I didn’t want to risk hurting you. I still… I still don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“What are you saying?” Steve asks, tensing up.

“I have to go back under,” Bucky says. “I have to let them try to get what’s left of Hydra out of my head. I don’t trust my own mind. I know… I know it’s not all that likely that someone else will know the activation code to send me back into full Winter Soldier mode, but I don’t want to risk it. I need… I need to give this a chance. I can’t… I can’t even consider being with you again until I know I can be in complete control of myself. I can’t… I can’t bare the idea that I could hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Steve pleads. “Come on, Buck, it’s me.”

“But I already have, Steve,” Bucky argues. “I need to do this.”

“I can’t lose you again,” Steve says, barely a whisper, voice breaking.

“You won’t,” Bucky says firmly. “This is your chance to finally get me back.”

Then Bucky’s pulling Steve in and kissing him. It’s gentle and slightly unsure, but Steve presses back into it with everything he has until Bucky is giving into it completely. 

Their kiss is cut short, though, as T’Challa comes back in and apologizes before he announces that they need Bucky’s decision. It breaks Bucky’s heart when he meets Steve’s eyes and notices that he’s crying. 

“Baby, don’t cry,” Bucky says. 

“Sorry,” Steve says, laughing guiltily and wiping his eyes. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, okay? I’m not leaving you.”

“Deal,” Bucky says. 

It all happens quickly after that, Bucky is put in the cryo machine, and the next thing he knows, he’s being put under again. The last thing he remembers seeing is Steve’s beautiful face, mouthing the words ‘I love you.’

**Author's Note:**

> come cry with me in the comments


End file.
